Ari's grief ritual (post calum assault)

[Thoth]

OOC:

This scene will happen after the calum assault.  It may take time so I'm starting now so Kat can finish it before she takes off for camp.  Hopefully if one of the participants dies it won't screw the scene too much LOL

IC:

*Alice brings James into the umbra the evening that the grief ritual happens.  Ari, her pack, Samana Pack, James and any others Ari wishes will be present.  *

Ari, I have brought you and James here this evening so you may hear the full tale of your father, family and history.  You are surrouned by those that care for you and consider you family.

*Thoth looks to Ari and then James*

((Kat have fun))

[Arianna_Fireau]

((Damien and Patrick are both invited by James – Damien for James and Patrick for Ari))

Ari stood wearing a light blue halter top dress, edged with silver fabric, her hair brushed out stairs and laying loose around her shoulders. She looked confused, as if she didn’t know what was going on. She wrapped one arm around Garret reflexively, resting her head on his shoulder if he was in Lupus or just leaning against him for comfort if he was in Homid.

James was wearing a white button-down shirt and khakis, his hair brushed and lying flat for once instead of its usual perpetually wind-blown style. He looked sick to his stomach and stood staring at the large old gun that rested on the mantle of the Ancestor’s Shrine. It had a single glyph carved into it, the glyph for Honor. James didn’t understand it, but he tentatively rushed his hand over it, remembering the first time he had held the weapon in his hand. He had been younger than Ari…

And Thoth finished his speech James looked over. He looked to Damien for a second and then swallowed heavily.

“What are you talking about?” Ari looked suspicious. “I know the story of my father.” Her arm tightened around Garret for a second before relaxing.

“Not the whole story.” James croaked. He took a nervous breath, glancing at Damien again. “I’m not a Galliard. Had I changed, I would have been a Philodox. I’m not a story-teller and I don’t think I can do him justice but… I’m the only one on this coast who knows the whole story…” He paused and it looked like continuing was very hard for him. “And I think I knew him best.’

The Kinfolk looked back over his shoulder at the gun that stood on the mantle.

“Michael “Leap Through Fire” Harwood was my mentor. I was raised kinfolk knowing about my Garou relatives. And by knowing I meant going up and my room and staying there when mother said she had business. I kept my head down and my mouth closed. The first and only Garou to ever take an interest in me was Michael.” A fond smile grew on his face. “He was a hard mentor, but a fair one. And I grew to love him like a father.” He dared a glance at Alice and then looked away again, scanning the group en masse. His smile faded. “But I was not his son.”

His voice grew harder, more bitter. “Michael had a son, I learned a couple years into my training in the Sept. A Garou son.” He glanced at Damien. “We hated one another. And I think the only thing that kept us from killing on another was Michael… although he didn’t stop his son from breaking several of my limbs.” The anger in this is audible and he holds Damien’s eyes for a few more seconds. After taking a moment to collect himself he continues. “You see… His son was a traditionalist. A Pure Bred Get of Fenris Traditionalist.” He looks down and back up. “I later found out that Michael himself had once been a Get but had Renownced his tribe when he and the elders of his Sept did not see eye to eye…” James shakes his head. “He never did like authority figures.”

And this is when Ari intercedes, looking horror stricken and disgusted. “You mean… I’m… a… a /GET/?!” She looks from James to Damien accusingly, mouth open and eyes narrowed in distrust.

((Pause for other people to interact if they wiiiish ^_^))

[Sam Kinkade]

Damein will stand behind james, and pat him on the shoulder.  "Well that, and the threat of me putting a silver bullet through his fool head stopped him."  He'll look at Ari, raising an eyebrow.  "Your no more a get because your father was one then i'm an uktena because my mother was one.  Cockroach chose you, so your a glasswalker.  thats all there is to it."

[Justin Northwood]

(( Patrick just stands quietly and listens. ))

[Garret]

Garret, in lupus swishes his tail around your calfs, trying to improve your mood with a tickle.  He rears up slightly to Ari's ear.  "I could tell- you're stubborn, deirfiúr."  He licks your ear once, before slightly losing his balance and landing on all fours again.

[Thoth]

*Thoth watches quietly but gently encourages James if he faulters, silently reassuring him that this is for the best.*

*He is also positioned carefully so as to be able to intercede should someone lose their composure.*

[Arianna_Fireau]

James takes the support from Damien, standing up a little straighter.

“You’re not a Get, Arianna. Your mother was Glasswalker Kin and your father was a Glasswalker, regardless of his blood. And you yourself were accepted to Cockroach’s brood. At the age of thirteen. Now what does that tell you?”

There’s a pause as Ari tries to wrap her head around the fact that her ancestors were scary norse people with big axes and James tries to find the courage to finish the story.

“Go on.” Damien says quietly, looking at his longtime friend.

In a moment of desperation, James thought to ask Damien to finish the story. He knew what happened next. He knew what Ari’s father had done. Maybe he even understood it, James sure couldn’t.

But Thoth wouldn’t allow it even if Damien would. So James had to align his mind and force himself to talk. Force himself to tell the girl he saw as a little sister something he knew would shatter her world.

“Michael was in a pack. “Talons” they called themselves, under Falcon. It was a big pack but they loved each other. And it was a big Sept, so it worked. I mean… the only time I ever saw him crack a smile was when Jamie was around, his Ragabash packmate. She was like… half his size but she’d tackle him to the ground, just to see him grin.” James gets lost in nostalgia for a moment but quickly recovers himself. “His son joined his pack.” Another moment of bitterness but a silent cue from Damien keeps him going.

“They went on a mission, investigating something. It was a set-up by the Black Spiral Dancers. Six members of his pack died, only Michaela and his son surviving. He was never the same.” James’s voice cracks and he fights to keep his face straight. “He was… It was like he’d lost something. Lost something precious to him, something necessary for survival… And instead he was just… He’d go to my classes and he’d just sit there and there was no life in him anymore. His eyes glazed over and he didn’t even see me anymore. He was gone-“

“WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?” Ari screamed suddenly, her face looking like she wasn’t sure whether to cry or hurt her kinfolk. “I didn’t…. Stop!” She took a step forward, away from Garret. “When I asked you to whether or not I should pack… You never told me! EVER! You LIED to me!” She yelled, shaking and tears rolling down her face. She covered her ears with her hands and glared at her Kinfolk through her tearing eyes. “You LIED!”

[Garret]

Garret, being the resourceful lupus he is, deals with this type of emotional stress by doing what he does best.  Grooming.  He follows Ari up, and licks her hand and elbow, quietly.

[Sam Kinkade]

Damien will just hold out a hand to Ari.  "He never told you for a couple of reasons.  Let him finish his tale first.  This is just as hard on him as it is on you.  I had to take care of him when he went out and got trashed a couple times during this time..."  damien's eyes are cold, with his emotions locked in the cage he uses during missions.

[Thoth]

*Thoth watches the exchanges closely, hoping that his plans work they way he hopes.*

[Arianna_Fireau]

James looked at Damien thankfully.

“First rule. Skinny white boys should not start bar fights.” He said with a sad kind of laugh, remembering all of the trouble he had gotten himself into and Damien had gotten him out of those first couple months after the… incident. And the laugh faded and James visibly inhaled, making himself go forward.

“No. Skinny white boys shouldn’t start bar fights on their own. Get backup first. Remember?” Damien’s voice was oddly gentle as he looked at his longtime friend.

Ari’s brow was still furrowed in anger and confusion and she wrapped her arms around Garret’s neck, as if to remind herself that her packmate was still there. She buried her teary face in his fur, inhaling and then turning to glare at James, hugging herself against Garret as if to absorb his soft Lupus comfort.

“I kept thinking he’d get better with time. The old cliché that time heals all wounds… Well it didn’t. They told me it was Harano. Whatever that means. Days stretched into weeks, weeks stretched into months. He couldn’t look at me. Wouldn’t talk to me. Wouldn’t talk to anyone. Six months of this. And then….” James’s eyes narrowed in confusion and he tried to find words. He shook his head and struggled with himself.

Thoth tried to coach him forward but he didn’t see Thoth.

“James?” Ari’s voice was tiny. She didn’t want to know but she was stuck in place until she did.

James didn’t seem to hear her.

After a few long seconds of James’s internal struggle and very loud silence, Damien reached up and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. James looked up suddenly, looking at Damien. Damien merely nodded and James, whose eyes were filled with tears, returned the gesture.

“Something in him snapped. He came to me and looked at me and I could have jumped for joy. There was fire in him again. There was life in him. And I was so blinded by this that… I didn’t see the insanity at first.” His voice cracked and he took a second to compose himself. “And then he began talking. He told me was going away, and not coming back. It’s funny. I remember the way I felt. I was smiling and happy… and then everything in me froze… and my smile just… shattered and fell apart… piece by piece. And it was like someone else was listening to him and I was far far away, watching it. Because this couldn’t be my life. It just couldn’t be. This couldn’t be Michael telling me he was going to… to…” His voice trembled and Damien’s hand squeezed gently. “To strap himself with awakened explosives and walk into the hive.”

“NO!” Ari yelled suddenly, shaking her head. “No! You’re wrong! You’re lying! He’s a hero! He’s a hero! He wouldn’t have left me alone like that! He wouldn’t! He wouldn’t!” She lunged at her kinfolk, face a mess of tears and pain and anger. She didn’t even see who caught her, whether it was Thoth or Damien or someone else. She struggled against their arms but never thought to shift or use any gifts. Her whole world was cracking and she fumbled for something to hold onto, a life preserver to cling to. Anger was it.

“Ari… I’m sorry.” James’s voice cracked and he reached out a hand to his young charge. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks as she continued to scream incoherently at him.

[Sam Kinkade]

Damien will step in, and lift ari in his arms, cradling her and holding her, making soothing noises.  "Calm down little fire cat."

[Arianna_Fireau]

"Let go of me!" Ari yells, fighting the grip but never really freeing herself. "Let go! Let go!" She looked at James with accusations and anger and grief, as if it was his fault. As if it was a horrible sin, to disrupt her blissfully naive state of existence.

"All the stories you told me!" She accused, writhing in Damien's arm and managing to free a hand to grab at him.

"Were true! He was a hero, Ari!" James pleaded, his voice trembling to hold its composure.

"He killed himself!" She screamed, whole body shaking in her captor's arms.

"I'm sorry, I waited this long. I am!"

"He killed himself!"

"He loved you!"

"He left me!"

"And he told me to watch over you! That you were important! He made me swear I'd take care of you!"

"Because he wouldn't be here to do it himself." She spat with disgust, glaring and seething and shaking.

[Garret]

Garret didn't know what explosives were, but his face was close to the understanding and recognition of a suicide, an alien concept, to ends one's own life through violence.  His parents had died at the claws of Black Spirals when he was a pup, and maybe dragged into the spiral and twisted.  He knew there was something lost in the comparison.  Something he knew he didn't understand.

[Sam Kinkade]

Damien will shift to crinos, and locking his paw in the front of her shirt, lift her by it so she is face to face with him.  "Do you know what harano is like?  Would you have rather he wasted away to nothing, becoming a burden upon those he cared about, till he died of a broken spirit, going out with a wimper.  He was a hero, and he chose to die like one.  If we are going to die anyways, its best to choose how we die so that we do the most good with the one life we have, isn't it!"  His snout is inches from ari's face, but his eyes are calm and composed, with a measure of knowing behind them.  "Stop and use that brain of yours that gaia gave you a second."

[Arianna_Fireau]

"Damien, put her-" James tried to croak but was cut off as Ari, full of rage and gried, intervened.

"LET. GO!" And she brought up her feet and pushed off hard against his chest, ripping the front of her dress and tumbling to the ground. She ran to Garret and hugged him tightly, whimpering and trembling. She buried her face in his coat and knotted her hands in his fur.

"Ari..." James took a step forward, holding out his hand. She didn't even look up but flinched away from the touch.

"No!" She whimpered into Garret's side, clinging to him as if that would somehow save her from the overwhelming amount of emotion. Maybe it didn't seem like such a big deal to those assembled, but Ari had based her life around the solid understanding that her father was a Hero. That he had died gloriously and that was why he never could have come to her. She felt betrayed that James had lied to her and hurt that she had not been enough to drag her father out of Harano, that he had not lived for her. She would understand later. Rationalize later. But right now she was confused and hurt and for some reason... lonely. Both her parents were dead, one by her hand and one by his own. Her father was supposed to be her idol... her proof that she wasn't a monster. Now who would she look up to? Who would prove to her that she wasn't a beast and that she was worthwhile?

She tightened her hold on Garret, and he could feel the moisture against his side.

[Sam Kinkade]

Damien will shake his head, and lay a paw on james's shoulder.  "Give her time.  Lets go."  He'll shift down, and start walking off towards the moonbridge to the mainland, a bar on his mind.

[Garret]

Garret holds fast.  This he understood better.  The wasting away.  When one his own fell too ill they would simply stop eating and drinking, and pass quietly in the night, but somehow exploding to deal a blow to the Wyrm seemed a better solution.  Consolation of human emotions were so different to him.  Empathy- he could feel how she felt, but sympathy was beyond his wolfish brain.

Garret just sits there, licking anything of Ari's without stirring too much, bristling his fur so it is thick and soft.

[Taweret]

Alice stands beside Thoth quietly. She's very still and is worrying absently at a nail.

[Arianna_Fireau]

Ari turns to Thoth. "You did this! You told him to! You..." But the accusations die in her throat and she just stops. She looked at James and tried to muster more rage at him but it wouldn't come. SHe deflated and grew limp, nuzzling her packmate.

"Ari..." He almost whimpered, wanting her forgiveness and knowing he wouldn't get it... at least not yet.

"Can we go to the garden, Garret? Please?" Her voice is tiny and she hugs him tightly, ignoring her kinfolk.

"I'm sorry, Ari. Really... I..."

"Can we, Garret?" she asked again, loosening her grip so that she could look into his eyes.

"Come on, give her time." Damien's voice flows over to James. The Ragabash places a gentle hand on James's shoulder, trying to lead him away. James looks to Thoth for a moment, waiting to see if they are done for today. Grief is weighing heavily on him and he looks a solid ten years older than usual.

[Thoth]

*Thoth gives James a reassuring/well done nod*

*He looks at Ari sympathetically, knowing what it is to have your family taken from you*

[Garret]

"Yeah- sure.  Let's go."  Garret states simply in wolf speech.  He absentmindedly sticks his head between Ari's legs to hoist her onto his back, almost out of instinct, allowing her to lie there, while me plods off to the mainland.  He looks back once at James with a still expression, before leaving.

[Arianna_Fireau]

Ari pushes herself off Garret's back with a surprising amount of force.

"No. You're not a horse or a mule. You're a Garou and you're my packmate." She said fiercely, choosing to walk, if not a little shakily. She shifted down to Lupus, walking beside him and walking away without looking back.

James watched her go and sighed.

"When you are ready to bring me back, I am ready." The kinfolk said softly, looking at the ground and shaking his head. He gruffly wiped his eyes in a very Ari-like motion.

[Thoth]

*Thoth and Alice walk James back to the B&B and take him back to realm side.*

James, you did very well.  Ari, will be upset for a good while but what you told her was really important for her growth.  She'll come to understand her dad still is a hero.

[Arianna_Fireau]

"Maybe she'll grow to forgive him... But will she ever come to forgive me?" There's a tired sort of anger in his voice as he looks at Thoth. He shakes his head and sighs. "Nevermind. Thank you, sir." He mumbles, nodding respectfully and backing up slowly, reaching into his pocket for his phone.

[Taweret]

"She'll heal." Alice says quietly. "And she'll forgive you in her own time. Giver her space to think and deal. She'll come back to you."

[Thoth]

James if you need anything, I expect you to let me know.  Ok.

[Arianna_Fireau]

James gives Alice a dark look for a moment, an accusatory look but then looks away. He has never looked at her this way before but something had changed. He then sighed and looked to Thoth.

"Of course. Now if you're finished with me, I have work to attend to." His voice is dead and he eyes are tired.

[Taweret]

Her brows furrow and the look that was edging towards compassion turned back to her normal scowl.

[Justin Northwood]

(( This post-dated scene never really happened, as it was completed prior to the Calum assault, after which Ari did not return for a few months and one of the participants was deceased.  When she did return, the circumstances were different and the scene has still not taken place. ))

[Thoth]

A similiar scene is in the works

[Justin Northwood]

Will be interesting to see how differently it goes, given all the changes in the participants lives since.