Bought to you by Mad Libs:
How To Date The Coolest Guy/Girl In School:
It's simple. Turn the monkeys. Make him/her want messily to date you. Make sure you're always dressed to grate. Each and every day wear pants that you know shows off your head to fuzzy advantage and make your potato look like a million brownies. Even if the two of you make finger contact, don't admit it. No hugs or cups. Just shake his/her wrist firmly. And remember, when he/she asks you out, even though a shiver may run down your coffee and you can't stop your calculator from reading, just play it sweaty. Take a long pause before answering in a very corpse-like voice, "I'll have to flounce it over."